I may be on deadline, but Real Life carries on in its various forms. Behold:
At a friend’s cookout:
Little Miss R: I picked you some flowers! *holds out bunch of puff-headed dandelions*
Me: Why, thank you.
Friend’s dog: *runs up and sniffs LMR’s handful of dandelions*
LMR: Do dogs eat dandelions?
Me: No. That would be silly.
Dog: *eats dandelions out of LMR’s hand*
LMR: I’m gonna go pick some more and feed them to the dog!
(Note: She didn’t really. And the dog was fine. He also ate some mulch, not fed to him by LMR.)
When I didn’t feel like making lunch:
Me: How many times can a person eat cereal in one day before it becomes a problem?
Mr. R: *considers* One is normal. Two is acceptable. Three is excessive.
Me: *pours self a bowl of cereal* Ok. I’m still acceptable.
Mr. R: Good to know.
When I tried to grab a coaster:
Stack of 4 coasters: *are stuck together*
Me: What’s with these coasters?
LMR: Are they stuck together?
Me: Yes. Did you do something to them?
LMR: No. I don’t know. I don’t think I remember.
Me: Did you play with glue?
LMR: I don’t think so. Are you mad at me?